Nov 14, 2008

Gone Since November

I love me some Kanye. Especially when he makes a song that resonates in part of my past.

Awhile back I stayed when it was clearly time to leave. I felt adrift and dissed. When I moved on, he said he'd call when he wanted to be friends, but asked me to not call him till then. I went from a best friend to a stranger:

"In the night, I hear 'em talk,
the coldest story ever told
Somewhere far along this road,
She lost her soul to a young boy so heartless..
How could you be so heartless?
Ohhh.. How could you be so heartless?"

The optimistic part of me waited for a call. For a year. Life kept moving and I moved away, moved on with Jeremy and kept maturing and learning. I toughened up, took accountability for the time I spent in the situation, and took back power for myself:

"How could you be so,
cold as the winter wind when it breeze, yo
Just remember that you talkin' to me though
You know need to watch the way you talkin' to me, yo "

I have a more detached view of what really went down now. The hardest part of a bad relationship is that it can effect the way you love: your next partner, your friends, yourself. A blessing from a relationship like that is the accomplishment you feel after letting go of what happened and feeling powerless. People walk in and out, and maybe he will too. I'm done waiting though b/c I can't divert any more time to something I that isn't reciproacted in the least. Don't let people like that steal your shine!:

"Talkin', talkin', talkin', talk
Baby let's just knock it off
So I got something new to see
And you just gon' keep hatin' me
And we just gon' be enemies
I know you can't believe
I could just leave it wrong
And you can't make it right
I'm gon' take off tonight
Into the night... "

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